Category Archives: Life

Living Alone

This meme summarizes my entire living alone experience. I love it.

#funny #funnygirl #funnymemes #funnyvideo #funnyfaces #funnycat #funnyshit #funnyvideos #funnyposts #funnypic #funnydog #funnymeme #funnyday #funnytumblr #funnyface #funnypics #funnypictures #funnyquotes #funnyaf #funnypost #funnystuff #funnynotfunny #funnycats #funnytime #funnytextpost #funnyisfunny #funnyasf #funnyquote #funnydogs #funnybaby

(My sister informs me this meme applies to everybody regardless of whether or not they live alone and it certainly isn’t a habit I picked up since moving out. She’d know, she had to share a room with me.) 

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100 Posts and 200 Followers

Today marks 100 days of posting in a row and coincides with my blog hitting 200* followers! Thank you all for your kind support and encouragement! 

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*Technically 209 since I have 9 e-mail followers and the 200 number only counts WordPress followers. But 200 sounds more rounded than 209. I know you 9 are the real champs, though! You have to deal with me in your inbox! 


Vitamin D

I’ve been playing phone tag with my doctor about some blood work for the past few weeks and finally got ahold of her. Or rather, a nurse who works with her. The nurse, however, lacked my doctor’s bedside manner. Or maybe I was a little too much in my old world. 

*over the phone*

Nurse: “So, you’re totally fine but you are Vitamin D deficient.”

Me: “Vitamin D?” I think, but I’m a redhead. We’re not supposed to need much of that stuff.* Does this mean I need to go outside more? Maybe I really am a vampire. Do vampires get Vitamin D deficient? I wonder if they absorb it from blood.  

Nurse: *apparently misinterpreting my confusion* “Don’t worry, you just need a little more sun. Or a vitamin. The doctor is sending a basic vitamin prescription to a pharmacy near you. Where should we send it?”

Me: Will this problem go away when I am in Thailand? Thailand has sun. I’ll get lots of it there. I’ll also get sunburned. I wonder if I should bring sunscreen with me? “Oh, Madison. I’m not sure where in Madison. I haven’t had to visit a pharmacy yet. Do you have a way of looking up some locations? If not I can try from my phone.”

Nurse: “I can do it.” *long silence* “It looks like there are two.”

Me: “Two pharmacies? Where?” Why do I need a prescription for a vitamin anyway?

Nurse: *names two streets*

Me: “Where are those located in…Madison? I haven’t heard of them. They don’t sound near my apartment.”

Nurse: *exasperated* “Well, honey, Madison is a small town! You can’t expect that many pharmacies!” 

Me:  “We’re talking about Madison…right?”

Nurse: “Madison, Wisconsin.”

Me: “And there are only two pharmacies?” 

Nurse: *exasperated sigh* “Well, give me a zip code!”

I give her mine. She pauses. Names a street. I am not sure it is near my apartment, but I say it will work anyway. I think she might give up on the whole thing if I try again. 

Me: “Thanks for your help!”

Nurse: “Uh-huh, good day.”

I really hope this prescription doesn’t end up in Madison, Georgia. 

 

*https://gingerparrot.co.uk/facts-and-myths-about-red-hair/

 


I attend a what now?

Pause.

I stare at my screen, trying to remember how to access my Bible study’s page on Facebook. It isn’t called Bible Study. It is something fancy like…

I start typing “Life group…”

Nothing.

“Bible study…”? 

Nope.

“Small group…”

Nada.

“Groups…”

“20-Somethings…”

“Ridgeway…”

“Church…”

“Fellowship group…”

“Home group…”

“Community group…”

“Network group…”

“Friend group…”

“People I see Sundays and Mondays…”

Finally I give up and search through my notifications until I find the last time someone posted. Ah, Connect Group. That’s it! I attend a connect group!


Cooking Fails

I do – upon occasion – attempt to cook. Tonight I tried just such a feat. It went…badly.

Chicken nuggets and asparagus. That’s it! The chicken nuggets went off well enough. It was the asparagus that proved my ruin! I carefully followed the instructions I found on Google. I chopped the ends off. I laid them flat in a pan and went to find some olive oil to pour on them. Except, apparently I don’t have any? So I figured coconut oil must do. Except my coconut oil is still quite thick. I scooped a couple spoonfuls into the pan and assumed it would melt in the oven.

Then I grabbed my Himalayan pink salt, a full grinder of it. I turned the top to grind and the whole cover fell off, dumping ALL the salt on my asparagus. 

Never mind. I picked out the clumps of coconut oil, rinsed off the asparagus, and laid it all out in a new pan. Good as new. Into the oven it goes! The coconut oil did melt but the internet was a little too enthusiastic about how long to cook the greens (or else my oven is a little hot.) They got…very cooked. 

And tasted horridly salty. And like coconut. You’d never guess it was asparagus. So I rinsed it off and tried again. Still terrible. I rinsed again. Finally, it tasted somewhat edible. I turned to place the asparagus on the table…and the entire plate flew from my hands, splattering the contents onto the wall where it promptly fell to the floor, sending asparagus and coconut oil everywhere. 

My friend says to rinse it off and stick in a pan to kill the germs but I. Give. Up. 

Image result for not meant to be


Staying Safe as a Single Woman

I’ve seen a lot of posts lately contrasting the numerous steps women take to keep themselves safe to the “non-steps” men take. So for example, women always taking pepper spray, avoiding dark alleyways, refusing to leave their drinks unattended. Men, the follow up thought goes, do nothing. And honestly, some of it hits home. I mean, tonight I bucked up for an Uber to the event I was attending because I don’t feel comfortable on the bus after dark. I also chose not to take my van because I fear parking garages late at night. I talked on the phone to a friend for the brief walk from where I got dropped off to inside my apartment. 

So yes, the fear is real and a legitimate thing. But I still struggle with these posts. It takes a moral high ground that doesn’t really…exist. Not all women spend every moment thinking about how to not get attacked. And certainly not all men behave as if safety means nothing. Not all men go about attacking women!

Maybe awareness is something we need more of and if so, great. Guess what? I, a single woman, am often mindful of my safety and take perhaps extreme steps to keep myself safe. But that’s life. That doesn’t make me a victim. That doesn’t mean I need to demand some redress of wrongs. It means we live in a broken world and sometimes navigating that world means taking steps to be safe. 

So be safe. Share tips for being safe. But don’t make this a Her against Him thing. That accomplishes nothing. Make this a partnership to talk about how we watch out for one another. That will accomplish far more than resentment against men for not worrying about parking garages at night. 


Bookworm Problems

Last night I resisted the voice in my head that said I should do homework and curled up with a book instead. Unfortunately, it was very lousy read. I felt super cranky that my evening off was devoted to something so unworthy. A 1 star read. So, I finished another book. A better book. A 5 star book. And I couldn’t sleep. 

I tried for a little bit before restlessly picking up a third book. An average book. I haven’t finished, but I suspect a 2 star read. 

All of this meant that when I finally did fall asleep, it was much later than I planned. And when I woke up, it was much later than I expected. So much for early to bed and early to rise. It all would have worked out so well if that first book hadn’t been so bad!