The secretary of the board showed up yesterdayto the board meeting hungry. As I was running around all day preparing for the meeting and didn’t get a chance to eat my lunch, I offered him my halved walnuts.
He politely accepted but after a moment complained, “Really? Raw and unsalted walnut halves? You’ve been talking to my wife. She is always trying to get me to cut down on sodium.”
My boss heard the comment from across the room and spun around. “Unsalted nuts…again? She always brings unsalted peanuts. It is disgusting.”
Unsalted peanuts are a long-standing feud in our office. (I’ve taken to buying salted peanuts and unsalted—the unsalted for me and the salted for whoever wanders into my office while I’m eating.)
The chairman of the board decided to weigh in: “My wife is also against salt.” He decided to sample the walnuts too.
By this point I had half the board standing around my walnuts, eyeing them suspiciously. But still sampling them because…well, it was the only food in the office.
I don’t even know if salted walnuts are a thing? Looks like the next board meeting is going to have to include snacks.
As a follow up to yesterday’s post about my work’s website, I feel like I should mention how much of a challenge it was adding the background pictures.
It took weeks to figure out.
I could not understand it. The “theme preview” showed a photo so I knew it was possible. But nothing worked! Not adding header images, or background images, or changing the theme. Not directly pasting photos into the post. Not clicking on every button I could find.
My friend came to help me with the website, but pictures stumped her too. She tried Google. Then YouTube. We downloaded plugins, attempted coding, and clicked, clicked, clicked, on every button we could find. Nothing.
Finally, she started calling her friends in IT. None of them knew how to help us. As she attempted to explain what we wanted, she pulled up the website for the coffee shop where she works which has a similar photo banner. She called her boss to find out how she got it.
And the boss told us. No add ons, no plugins, no coding. Go onto the post. Click “Featured image.” Choose a photo. Wallah.
Day 4 on the job and I managed to break the Foundation’s website.
Ironically, it happened after I sent a triumphant e-mail to my boss telling him I worked out all the bugs and our website was finally ready for general distribution. The day went something like this:
Email 1: Just letting you know I fixed all the dead links and our website is ready for distribution.
Email 2: Did you know we have a Twitter that hasn’t been updated since 2016? And people have been tweeting at us?
Email 3: Can I please, please, please get the login and password information for the super old, ugly, out of date Twitter account? It is embarrassing me.
Email 4: We have a form on our website for people to sign up for “our newsletter.” We don’t have a newsletter. What does the form do with the information of people who sign up?
Email 5: No, but seriously, who has the Twitter password?
Email 6: Um, so, I might have broken the website.
Email 7: I think I fixed it.
Email 8: Nope, broken again. Does this mean anything to you? ‘Cause this is the only thing I’m seeing. “Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Call to undefined function eregi_replace() in /home2/llf/public_html/wwcms/wp-content/plugins/link-indication/link-indication.php:315 Stack trace: #0 [internal function]: LinkIndication->ParseLinks(Array) #1 /home2/…”
Email 9: Fixed for real this time. It was a plugin error. What even is a plugin?
Email 10: So, I lost the “donate here” button on our website...
Three years of law school to get a job failing at Tech Support.