Tag Archives: awful

Regency Rejects and Nothing Non-Fiction: My 1 Star Reads from 2017

My least favorite reads from 2017: 

A Civil Action by Johnathan Harr

After a semester spent discussing civil procedure, I understand why my professor assigned us this one to read. It served a purpose. My classmates almost universally loved this book; I hated it. It was over-wordy, extremely biased, and sloppy with details. For most of the book, I was ready to give it two stars and call it “excessively dull,” but the last hundred pages were too egregious to ignore. I wouldn’t accept this kind of bathos in my fiction; I fail to see why I should tolerate it in my non-fiction. 

The Ishbane Conspiracy by Randy Alcorn

Reading this book was a lot like tying a millstone around my neck and jumping into the ocean: dangerous, painful, and a waste of time. The message that comes across is  that if you avoid dating, prom dresses with a slit, and Harry Potter, you’re a good Christian who won’t let sin in. Besides carrying a dubious moral message, the book itself is awful. The writing is heavy-handed and over the top. The characters are one dimensional and boring. The climax is out of nowhere and completely dramatic. Not worth it!

Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead

Somewhat interesting plot idea…less than thrilling results. The writing was poor and the characters annoying. The plot never really went anywhere. The villains were super predictable. The relationship between the main characters was unhealthy and concerning, full of unhealthy emotional dependence. The menfolk have no personality. Not interesting or worth the time. 

A Jury of Her Peers by Jean Hanff Korelitz

This might win Most Disappointing Read of 2017. You know what is sexy? Lawyers flirting over their ACLU cards, said no one ever. Except possibly this author. A boring legal thriller that shoots itself in the foot by creating a self-righteous, dull heroine; an annoying romance; and a story line that revolves around a giant, government conspiracy. 

Plato and a Platypus Walk Into A Bar…: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes by Thomas Cathcart

This is a very brief look at different philosophies. If you took a basic philosophy course, this will be old hat. I’d give it two stars for the philosophy portion and negative two for the jokes. This book was completely un-funny. The jokes are either old and well-worn or so vulgar I almost didn’t finish. 

In The Woods by Tana French

A dark mystery about missing children and murder. Unfortunately, also a story full of angst, angst, and more angst! Though it began promisingly, the book drags on and slowly kills all the things I liked about the beginning. Relationships are ruined for stupid reasons. The main character was a bore. A boring, angsty read! 

Lament: The Faerie Queen’s Deception by Maggie Stiefvater

 Yet another promising YA novel ruined by raging hormones. I liked that the heroine takes things in stride. She discovers she can see fairies and doesn’t wuss out. However, she mainly accomplishes this by obsessing over her love interest instead of worrying about imminent death. The writing and plot are sloppy, definitely can tell this book was an early work for Stiefvater.

A Marriage of Inconvenience by Marion Chesney

I. Hate. This. Book. So. Much. Definitely the worst read of 2017. A Regency romance about a woman who hates men and a solider forced to become her fiance. I hate this book for its awful, inaccurate use of regency slang, weird Freudian philosophy, and terrible conclusion. Just…bleh!! 

The Forrester Inheritance: A Regency Entertainment by Daisy Vivian

Miss Mariana Porter stands to inherit a great deal of money – provided she marry one of her cousins. Obviously that cousin will be the one she takes in immediate aversion for absolutely no reason. One of those one-star reads that left me feeling more amused than infuriated. The characters are one dimensional and lack basic personality. 

Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us by Seth Godin

A leadership book about…leadership? The internet? Something? Vague, repetitive, and cocky without the substance to back it up. Not bad ideas necessarily but the book alienated me.

The Bachelor Girl’s Guide to Murder by Rachel McMillan

“A female Sherlock Holmes”…except not.  This book is full of weird, switching POVs and a mystery that takes backseat to a confusing insta-romance. The book is super poorly paced. Action scenes are glazed over and character “change” comes out of nowhere. Half of the book was unnecessary and the other half didn’t fit anywhere. It lacked transition entirely. There are weird footnotes that don’t fit with the story. By the end of the book, I sort of forgot what the point of the mystery was in the first place and I am still confused about the motivation of the killer and his minions. I loved the title of this book and nothing else.

 

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Whatcha Reading…? 5/27/16 Book Update

I have so many books to read! Today I started my 4 day weekend and the hardest part is going to be not spending the whole thing reading. I’ve got stacks of books from the library that have collected over the past few weeks, waiting for just such an opportunity as this. Right now I’ve narrowed the stack to 5 that I am reading right now (6 if you count the book I just finished.) Some are super good…others I am not sure I will finish. They are…

Overrated by Eugene Cho, Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld, In Cold Blood by Truman Capote and (yes, I know it is weird that I haven’t read this yet) Where The Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls. I’m also listening to Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe on audio book. 

Overrated is one of those books so relevant it almost hurts. Every chapter I feel like the Holy Spirit is shouting ‘Pay Attention!!’ I’ve heard Eugene Cho speak but it has been a while and this book does a great job conveying his message. I’m only half way through but I’ll already say it…this book is a must read. 

Another must-read is the book I just finished, Breaking Busy by Alli Worthington. This book has taken me a “while” to read because I’ve been reading it slowly, one chapter at a time. That is all I will say for now, because I might give it its own review later. Highly recommended for all the “busy” ladies out there!

On the other side of the spectrum, I’m extremely unimpressed with Eligible so far. A Pride and Prejudice retelling set in the 21st century? Yes, please. Except not. While the author does a clever job conveying the social and relational nuances of the original (such as making Jane nearly 40, and still unmarried!) he has also ruined the entire Bennett family. They are awful, materialistic, pathetic people. I’m not even sure I will finish this one. 

In Cold Blood has the dubious honor of being the true-life story of a gruesome murder. The lack of “chapters” is frustrating, but the overall story is riveting and horrifying. Most striking is how Capote humanizes the killers and killed. It is not as darkly written as I was expecting, and somehow that makes it all the worse. Incredibly well-written. I’m not sure what I’ll think when I’m done. 

Where The Red Ferns Grow…yes, I know everyone read this in middle school, but somehow I missed it. I’m familiar with the plot – lovely writing and great tragedy. This is truly an American classic.

Finally, Robinson Crusoe. I was seriously making fun of it when I started but I am actually enjoying it now. I wasn’t prepared for how much of a sermon on trusting God it is. Yet it is easy to see why this book has captured the imagination for so many years…and for 1719, this book is downright impressive! 

 


The Fault In Our Chick Lit: My 1 Star Reads from 2015

While two stars may imply mediocrity, one star remains unequivocally not worth the time. With some of these, though, I probably should have known better!

Steamed by Jessica Conant-Park

Believe it or not, there is not a single likable character in this entire book. The plot promises an intelligent grad student who uses dates to get the gourmet food she loves…until one day her date shows up dead. Don’t believe it. Basically, (1) there is a grad student, and (2) someone ends up dead. Eventually. It took forever for anything interesting to happen. The main character (who I really, really, REALLY hated) spends the entire book whining about her life and blundering about, hampering more than helping the police. This “culinary mystery chick-lit” fails every category.

The Morning Gift by Eva Ibbotson

Foolishly I decided to give Eva Ibbotson another try. Never again! Done right, this might have been a beautiful, romantic story intertwining music, paleontology, and Vienna, Austria. Instead it descends into a Freudian case study. I hated the last quarter of the book. I hated the Mary Sue main character and the womanizing hero. I hated the love triangle. Basically, I hated this book.

No One Else Can Have You by Kathleen Hale

Perhaps the most interesting of my failed reads this year, No One Else Can Have You certainly caused quite a controversy on Goodreads. The author basically stalked readers who gave her books bad reviews. However, that is not the reason I gave this book a lousy rating. It earns its one star by simply being really, really bad. The plot takes place in “Friendship” Wisconsin, but all dialogue sounds like it comes from fake Minnesotans. The lingo was atrocious and many “native phrases” like bubbler get shoved in at the most random moments.  It is a dark comedy that is not in the least bit funny. No One Else Can Have You was crude, crass, and warped. Avoid

The Wrath & The Dawn by Renee Ahdieh

A retelling of Shahrzad and the Thousand and One Nights that bored me to tears. I skim/skipped entire sections of pointless POV. The book exemplifies almost every modern trope in YA literature, including the usual favorites: insta-love, the ever present love triangle, and a cliff-hanger-who-needs-resolution-anyway ending.  As the tale of Shahrzad is one of my favorites, I hoped for a cool spin off. Unfortunately, this one did not live up to the hype!

Love Letters and A Perfect Proposal by Katie Fforde

I don’t expect much from chick-lit. I really don’t. But I don’t think I have ever read anything in any genre as bad as these two books. They were atrocious. The writing, the plot, the characters were all terrible. The author continually tells, tells, and tells without any showing. Dialogue is long-winded and awkward. There are entire chapters that are unnecessary. Characters burn with insta-lust yet have zero chemistry. These books managed to cut through my boredom by being so bad I was left with nothing but wrath.

Waistcoats & Weaponry by Gail Carriger

While not 5 star material, the Finishing School series had been playing out nicely. I was thrilled to find steampunk done right! Then Waistcoats & Weaponry came on the scene and managed to alienate me from Every. Single. Character. The plot was confusing and hard to follow. The story wasn’t particularly clever or funny and rapidly descended into crude jokes. It was both tasteless and utterly boring. In fact, this one was so atrocious I advise avoiding the entire series.

The Princess of Cortova by Diane Stanley

Speaking of series gone wrong, few books disappointed me more this past year than The Princess of Cortova. I loved the first two books in the trilogy (The Silver Bowl and The Cup and the Crown). This third installment, however, fell short in every way. Part of the problem was that I apparently missed a super-big love triangle prevalent in the past two books! The fallout with the characters threw me for a loop. And that was small compared to everything else that went wrong. Gone is the intrepid heroine who faces the world with only her ready wit and quick fists. She wanders around the book moaning and groaning and rehashing things the reader already knows with a cat. There is sacrifice but it is so senseless it ceases to be meaningful. Characters are faced with deep dilemmas but rarely face true consequences (unless they are very Bad Baddies, of course). Overall, a disappointing book.

Summer Lovin’ by Carly Phillips

I flinch even remembering I read this book. ‘Horribly written’ doesn’t even begin to cover it. The author rarely says something once. She physically bludgeons the reader by repeating the same things over and over, creating hundreds of unnecessary pages. The novel drags through the characters’ insta-lust and contrived emotional upheaval only to shove a bunch of random conflict into the end. Despite what the description hinted, this was not a cute variation of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  Awful characters and awful writing, I recommend avoiding anything by this author. 

Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes

A complete disappointment. The secular humanist worldview and Freudian philosophy quickly alienated me.  The plot, characters, and writing were mediocre. It was impossible to empathize with the main character. Not worth the time.

Confessions Of A Jane Austen Addict by Laurie Viera Rigler

Though I no longer consider myself a hardcore Janite, I appreciate the occasional dip into the creative and often bizarre world of the Jane Austen fandom. Confessions Of A Jane Austen Addict tells the story of a 21st century “Austen Addict” who wakes up in Regency England. Unfortunately, the heroine immediately spends the next 200+ pages whining about everything. Between random third wave feminist rants, she throws herself at most men and moans incessantly that she isn’t married. This woman is not a Janite. She is a fan of Colin Firth in tight breeches. I do wish authors would realize there is a difference.

Out On A Limb by Shirley Maclaine

Read while researching transcendentalism for an assignment my final semester of college.  Worth noting only because of how unbelievably bad it was. Between endless (and unnecessary) reminiscences about her affair with a British politician, Maclaine discusses her beliefs ranging from reincarnation to extraterrestrial life. Frankly, I found it a load of crap.

Cocaine Blues by Kerry Greenwood

Being a big fan of the Australian TV show Miss Fisher’s Murders Mysteries, I was delighted to discover the book series. Now I can only say I am glad I discovered them after the show or I never would have watched it. The book contains all the show’s worse qualities without any of the redeeming elements. On top of that, the writing is awful and Detective-Inspector Jack Robinson isn’t a romantic lead. Why bother?

Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella

Once again, an excellent example of chick lit gone bad. I am not looking for high quality in my fluff, but I do expect some levels of decency. Besides containing one of the most stupid heroines in literature, Remember Me? litters its pages with language and “more discussion of sex than a boys locker room.” (Thank you random Goodreads reviewer for the apt analogy.) Basically, a comedic rip off of The Vow that fails to be funny, romantic, or even semi-interesting.

The Statistical Probability of Love At First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith

I really should just stop reading Jennifer E. Smith. I have yet to find one worth the time. In her defense, they are easy reading. However, by easy I mean mindless and horrendously boring. The Statistical Probability of Love At First Sight probably gets the award for the most boring book I finished this year. Do you know what is more miserable than a six hour flight from America to England? That would be reading about a six hour flight from America to England. Throw in two whiny, ungrateful teenagers who do nothing but complain about their parents and make puppy dog eyes at each other and you have this book.