Tag Archives: changes

I feel naked with only one phone…

For the first time in a very long time, I no longer have two phones, two laptops, two credit cards, and a constant feeling that I’m ignoring something I should be doing for work. It is a strangely empty feeling. It isn’t like having a phantom limb as much as feeling like there is a large, empty space somewhere inside me where tension used to be. My responsibility is now gone. 

I know this is a temporary feeling and I’ll be back to work in three days, but it still surprises me. Of all the emotions I imagined, “emptiness” was not one of them. I think I might get sick. I’ve been fighting a sore throat this morning. The tension and emotions of the past few weeks have finally knocked me down and now I just want to sleep and avoid people. However, I can’t do that because there are only 3 days till I leave for the summer and people want to see me. I didn’t plan this very well! 

Oh well, enough of my whining. I’m going to take advantage of introvert time while I can and hopefully it will be enough to get me through the next few days!


Farewell, but not goodbye…

Today was my last day of work at Americans For Prosperity. After several months of agonizing, I have finally decided to start a new adventure. I’ll be headed to Idaho for the summer to be a camp counselor and hopefully will follow that with law school in the fall. The past few months have been full of ups and downs as I’ve applied and waited…and waited…and waited…

Still waiting on those law schools, actually. However, I decided to take the leap and here I am! I leave for camp this coming Wednesday.

This has been a pretty emotional week for me. I am incredibly grateful for the last three years with AFP. I have gotten a chance to do what I love, work with amazing people, and truly make a difference here in Wisconsin. AFP has given me many, incredible opportunities, but the best one has always been the chance to wake up in the morning and say, “I can’t believe I’m getting PAID to do this!”

This is farewell to an amazing organization, but not goodbye. Though I am leaving, AFP will always be a part of who I am and what I do in the future. I’m confident in my decision yet this parting is incredibly bittersweet. 

My bosses gave me some lovely flowers!

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The Grass Is Still Brown

It is pretty much the same.

Bryan College, I mean.

Oh, there are a few trees missing and certainly some new faces, but nothing particularly strange. They haven’t painted Mercer blue or anything. Dayton seems about the same. I am told there is a new yogurt place; Wal Mart and McDonalds are still standing strong (important facts for this student’s budget!) I suppose I haven’t been gone that long anyway. A summer. A semester.

It feels so much longer, though. The weirdest part isn’t the missing trees or that they turned Robinson’s computer lab into a “fitness center” (with absolutely nothing in it so I don’t know how useful it is.) The weirdest part isn’t even having a new roommate or reminding myself to go downstairs instead of upstairs for my room. The weirdest part for me is…

Well, me.

When I first came to Bryan College, there was a sense of displacement but also eagerness. Nobody knew me. I knew no one. Anybody might be my friend, everybody! Going to Oxford, I felt the same emotions. Once again, life was a blank sheet of paper to be explored and maybe even invented. Who would I end up being today? Going home is going back to where they know me. Back to family, back to childhood friends and adults who have known me since I was a baby. Familiarity.

Its a comfortable balance, what surprised me about coming back to Bryan College, however, was how many people knew me. I mean really know me. It is not that I forgot I had friends. It is more…I forgot friends stay in the same place. It is such a joy to see them all again. A surprising, wonderful joy. We’ve all changed some. Like Bryan College, a few trees have been knocked down and the computer lab got turned into a “fitness center”. They are here, though.

I have my place already established at Bryan College, and a semester away didn’t change that. I haven’t completely disappeared. Acquaintances nod and say… “Hey Amy.” At those two words, I look at them in surprise. Of course I know their names, but I’ve been gone! The faculty and staff greet me…usually pausing to beam down at me and inquire, “How was Italy?” (England…Italy…easy to mix up…especially when I’m wearing my Oxford hoodie.)

What is the strangest part about coming back to Dayton, TN? Realizing that life may not be a blank slate, and there is something wonderful about that. No uncertainly, I am loved by my friends. I have a place here at Bryan College. One I like. One I know.

It’s good to be back.