Christmas shopping with my brother Sam:
You enter the store and go immediately to the department with the Item you decided to purchase before walking in. You spend all of 3 seconds verifying it is correct. Then you check out. No turning to the left or right.
Christmas shopping with my brother Elijah:
Me: “Elijah, you are coming Christmas shopping with me.”
Me: “OH! I wanted to look at that…Can you believe someone made this? And people buy it! Oh look at that shirt over there! Do you mind if we swing by shoes? We should check out the toy section for options. LOOK. $5 DVDs. Ahahahaha look at that pillow case! Let’s go back by t-shirts. I want to look for this bizarrely specific thing…YOU KNOW WHO WOULD LOVE THIS? Do you need a present for…? We should go back to that other department….”
*Meanwhile, Elijah calmly follows me everywhere and doesn’t complain once*