I’ve been playing phone tag with my doctor about some blood work for the past few weeks and finally got ahold of her. Or rather, a nurse who works with her. The nurse, however, lacked my doctor’s bedside manner. Or maybe I was a little too much in my old world.
*over the phone*
Nurse: “So, you’re totally fine but you are Vitamin D deficient.”
Me: “Vitamin D?” I think, but I’m a redhead. We’re not supposed to need much of that stuff.* Does this mean I need to go outside more? Maybe I really am a vampire. Do vampires get Vitamin D deficient? I wonder if they absorb it from blood.
Nurse: *apparently misinterpreting my confusion* “Don’t worry, you just need a little more sun. Or a vitamin. The doctor is sending a basic vitamin prescription to a pharmacy near you. Where should we send it?”
Me: Will this problem go away when I am in Thailand? Thailand has sun. I’ll get lots of it there. I’ll also get sunburned. I wonder if I should bring sunscreen with me? “Oh, Madison. I’m not sure where in Madison. I haven’t had to visit a pharmacy yet. Do you have a way of looking up some locations? If not I can try from my phone.”
Nurse: “I can do it.” *long silence* “It looks like there are two.”
Me: “Two pharmacies? Where?” Why do I need a prescription for a vitamin anyway?
Nurse: *names two streets*
Me: “Where are those located in…Madison? I haven’t heard of them. They don’t sound near my apartment.”
Nurse: *exasperated* “Well, honey, Madison is a small town! You can’t expect that many pharmacies!”
Me: “We’re talking about Madison…right?”
Nurse: “Madison, Wisconsin.”
Me: “And there are only two pharmacies?”
Nurse: *exasperated sigh* “Well, give me a zip code!”
I give her mine. She pauses. Names a street. I am not sure it is near my apartment, but I say it will work anyway. I think she might give up on the whole thing if I try again.
Me: “Thanks for your help!”
Nurse: “Uh-huh, good day.”
I really hope this prescription doesn’t end up in Madison, Georgia.