Tag Archives: driving

Driving Miss Amy

8 Years Ago

18-year-old Amy gets behind the steering wheel of the mini van. Her 4 younger siblings sit in the back. Parents wave from the doorway. 

10-year-old Elijah: *waves to parents with a long-suffering sigh*  “At least we will see them in heaven.” 

Present Day

*I teach Elijah to drive*

Image result for how the tables have turned memes

In Which Amy Buys A Car

After 3 weeks of searching, I finally bought a car today! A lovely blue Ford Fiesta. I’m super excited. 

Of course, once you buy a new vehicle you see the make, model, and color everywhere. Or so I expected. I was looking forward to it! At Wal Mart, I found one the exact same shade! But a Ford Focus. Still, only a matter of time…

I had to drive to Madison and back to my parents’ for something. 3 hours on the road. 

I did not see a single Ford Fiesta the entire trip. It became laughable! I would say:

“There it is!”

And Bethany, who was with me, would squint and say: “That is a Jeep.” 

Or I would say: “Wrong color, but surely that is my car.”

And Bethany would say, “Pretty sure that is a minivan.” 

Or I would say: “Surely that is my car.”

And then we’d get closer and it would turn out to be a Prius. Soooooooooo many Prius! Preiuses? Priusi? I think we passed a dozen. 


Fluent in Confused Daughter

Maybe it came from raising 3 daughters, maybe earlier from having 3 sisters, but my Dad is great at translating the language of Confused Daughter. Take last night:

Me: “Hey Dad! So I was driving and then I heard a beeping noise and I looked down and a weird light on my dashboard was on and it was by my temperature gauge and I looked and the engine temperature was all the way in red! So I pulled over.”

Translation: My engine is overheating. 

Dad: “Where are you?”

Me: “Well, I left home and turned at Dustin’s – y’know, by the farm – and then was on that road and passed the place with the boats and now I’m on a stretch of isolated road. It looks kind of serial killerish.” 

Translation: I have no idea. But I am not lost. 

Dad: “Did you notice anything else odd  while you were driving?”

Me: “No, it drove fine.” 

Dad: “Is your heater on?”



Dad: “Probably not.”

Me: “Lots of cars on this road for how late it is…someone just pulled up behind me…go awayyyy…are they going to pass me? I hope they don’t get out and try to help. They’re going… No….? Ah, pulling up alongside…I’m good! Yup…go on along. Totally fine. On the phone. Already being helped. Okay. So what should I do now?”

Translation: Not talking to you at the moment, Dad, but stay on the phone anyway in case this person isn’t so nice.

Dad: “How about you turn around and come home?”

Me: “I can do that but I’m going to go straight first because this road has too many blind curves for me to comfortably turn around on in the dark. This might take a little bit. I see some driveways…maybe if I can find a road up ahead to turn around…And then I won’t go too fast in case the engine overheats again.”

Translation: It may take me a few extra minutes to get home but I’m coming. 

And you know what? Through it all, my Dad just patiently talked me through what to look for and when to pull over. Because he’s awesome like that. 

Why I Don’t Watch Horror Movies

Grandma: may want to skip this one!

There I was. Stranded on a dark, rainy road in the middle of nowhere. My van decided to overheat and like the experienced driver of old vehicles I am, I instantly pulled over and called my Dad.

As the phone rang, I looked out my window and realized how much my surroundings resembled a horror movie. Wet. Cold. Dark. Late. Broken vehicle. I allowed my imagination to run wild for a moment…

And came up with nothing. Because I don’t watch horror movies.

But I know about serial killers. So I locked my van and contemplated that for about half a second.

Then the voice of reason in my head pointed out I live in the Midwest and at most someone would pull over and ask if I need help. Sure enough, within 5 minutes someone pulled over to check on me!

Thankfully, my car was fine for the drive back to my mechanic…aka, Dad. Hopefully I make it to Madison tonight!

An Unsatisfactory Travel Update

Today was very…long. I toured a law school, drove for over 3 hours in pouring rain, and attended a friend’s wedding rehearsal. I know there are many stories to be told but I can’t seem to focus on any of them. I am so sleepy!

My Air BnB experience was fun but I am glad to be in a hotel room right now where I don’t have to worry about social nuances…like whether or not it is rude to not socialize with my host. I assume it differs in each situation but…

More about that later! Probably. When I am not typing on a phone. 

Anyway, sleep calls. Goodnight, y’all!

Manual Transmissions

Today my brother decided to teach our sister how to drive stick. I got to tag along. Since no one in my family believes I’m capable of it, I haven’t learned stick yet. I drive more than anyone in my family and have never gotten a ticket but they still disparage my driving. Rude. 

However, tagging along was fun and Sam even let me get behind the wheel for a few minutes. It was not nearly as challenging as everyone said. I’m definitely going to make him teach me now. 

Even when I know where I’m going, I don’t.

Today I made it all the way to Madison and back without a GPS! I know I’ve been making this drive almost every month for nearly 2 years, but you have to understand, directions aren’t my strong suit. Or my weak suit. Or really, in the suit at all. 

That said, my triumph today is tinged with embarrassment. I got on the highway towards Madison and drove for a good 5 minutes before it dawned on me that I was driving in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go. I was even looking for a specific exit and had been studying all the signs towards Milwaukee with great interest without it once dawning on me that I was not even pointed in the right direction.

It wasn’t that I was lost, per se. In fact, I’m rarely lost. I am, however, frequently turned around. Today was one of those days.