Tag Archives: events

Remembering I’m an Extrovet

Yesterday, my Mom kindly consented to join me at an AFP event and we headed into Milwaukee. I almost didn’t go. But I RSVPed and felt somewhat obliged to attend and there would be food.

I walked through the doors at the event, looked around the room, and saw people I knew. Moreover, people I liked. Former co-workers, bosses, and mentors. People I spent years fighting alongside. People I only know from Facebook. People I met once years ago. People I wanted to know. The AFP, grassroots world. In the flesh. 

I guess I just didn’t realize how much I missed that world. 

It was like a light flickered on in my head. ‘I know this situation. I am trained for this situation. I can go work the room. I can catch up on all the changes. Network.’

I often feel displaced in law school, to say nothing of the five months I spent in Thailand. But this was the opposite feeling of displacement. It was belonging. 

And I also realized, while I miss the people, I don’t necessarily miss the job. That is, given the chance to go back to my old position, I probably wouldn’t. I like the law. I like the extra layer of understanding I possess when I talk about policies impacting our state. 

I’m not sure where that leaves me, except with a strong reminder that I’m still becoming. No matter how stressful this past year, no matter how stressful the coming one, it is not the last chapter. I’ve got people rooting for me. People who trained me, mentored me, and pushed me forward. And right now a new batch of people train, mentor, and push me. But that doesn’t mean the last bunch forgot about me. They’re still my people. I’m just also getting more people. 

More than anything, the evening reminded me that I’m an extrovert and need to spend more time with people who fill me up. 

Which leads me to a major thank you to my introverted mother for sticking around much later than she wanted while I caught up with people. She also had to deal with my giddy rambling on the drive back. My Mom is the real MVP.

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The pre-event wait

So here I am. My work event starts at 6:30 and it is now 3. I have cleaned, bought snacks, contacted attendees. Now all I have to do is wait for the event itself to start. 

This is by far the hardest part. There isn’t enough time to really do anything, yet plenty of time to think about it. What if no one comes? What if the projector doesn’t work? What if I forgot to put out clean hand towels? 

What if no one comes? is the question that really plagues me. I can always double and triple check the projector and towels. But what if I should have made one more contact? Talked to one more person? Reached out to one more family? Would that have made the difference and filled the room? 

The secret question within the no-one-coming question is actually more like, what if I am just really bad at my job? But who wants to face a question like that head on? Give me 3.5 hours and I’ll find out! So for now I wonder, and wait, and try to focus on the hand towels.