Tag Archives: needles

Splinter Emergency

Bethany: “Me getting a splinter was the most interesting part of your day?”

Yes, yes it was.

Bethany got a splinter at work today. It was an impressively long one and went deep into her thumb. As soon as we got home, she made a beeline to the bathroom to pull it out.

Alas, like many things in this apartment, she decided I was woefully unequipped.

Bethany: “Do we have needles?”

Me: “Probably. Grandma gave me a sewing kit. But I’m not sure where it is.”

Bethany: “How about a push-pin?”

Me: “Oh, I’ve got one of those.”

Bethany: “What are you handing me?”

Me: “I think you are supposed to use it to start a cell phone. But it looks nice and pointy.”

Bethany: “Hmmm.”

Me: “Oh look! I found the sewing kit. Want me to sterilize the needle?” 

Bethany: “Hmmm.” 

Me: “What candle to use?”

Bethany: “What are you even talking about?”

Me: “You know! You stick the needle in the flame and it kills the germs.”

Bethany: “Hmmm.”

Me: “The only candle I have is Tahitian Coconut.” 

*Bethany sticks the needle in the flames* 

Bethany: “That did not work.”

Me: “Why did it turn black?”

Bethany: “Don’t we just have rubbing alcohol?” 

Me: “Sure!” *manages to squirt everywhere*

Bethany: “Okay, I dug it out. Now I need tweezers so you can pull it out.” 

Me: *produces tweezers*

Bethany: “Why are they so big? Fine, sanitize them.”

Me: *sticks in the flame. They turn black.* “Well, that didn’t work.”

*cleans with rubbing alcohol* 

Bethany: “Why are your hands shaking? All you have to do is pull out the splinter!”

Me: “I don’t like this stuff. I could not be a doctor. Wouldn’t it be funny if I fainted? What a blog post.”

Bethany: “That would not be funny.”

We got the splinter out. I did not faint. Movies lie: candles do not work for sterilizing things.