Tag Archives: safety

Staying Safe as a Single Woman

I’ve seen a lot of posts lately contrasting the numerous steps women take to keep themselves safe to the “non-steps” men take. So for example, women always taking pepper spray, avoiding dark alleyways, refusing to leave their drinks unattended. Men, the follow up thought goes, do nothing. And honestly, some of it hits home. I mean, tonight I bucked up for an Uber to the event I was attending because I don’t feel comfortable on the bus after dark. I also chose not to take my van because I fear parking garages late at night. I talked on the phone to a friend for the brief walk from where I got dropped off to inside my apartment. 

So yes, the fear is real and a legitimate thing. But I still struggle with these posts. It takes a moral high ground that doesn’t really…exist. Not all women spend every moment thinking about how to not get attacked. And certainly not all men behave as if safety means nothing. Not all men go about attacking women!

Maybe awareness is something we need more of and if so, great. Guess what? I, a single woman, am often mindful of my safety and take perhaps extreme steps to keep myself safe. But that’s life. That doesn’t make me a victim. That doesn’t mean I need to demand some redress of wrongs. It means we live in a broken world and sometimes navigating that world means taking steps to be safe. 

So be safe. Share tips for being safe. But don’t make this a Her against Him thing. That accomplishes nothing. Make this a partnership to talk about how we watch out for one another. That will accomplish far more than resentment against men for not worrying about parking garages at night. 


Better Safe Than Sorry

I really thought I had parked beneath a streetlight. I almost always do when I’m out and about late, and tonight I knew was going to be very late. Maybe the bulb was burned out or maybe I just wasn’t paying enough attention when I pulled in, but whatever the case, the first thing I noticed as I walked towards my car tonight was that it was in the dark. The second thing was that a sketchy white van with no windows was parked right next to it. It didn’t take a genius to figure out this was a bad combination. 

I turned around and started running in my heels, hoping to catch my boss before she finished locking up and drove away. We had stayed late talking with an activist and if she were gone, it would be me and an empty building. Thankfully, that activist hadn’t driven away yet either. He saw me running and pulled over. I explained the situation and he said he had been driving back to check on me anyway. He saw me safely to my vehicle and drove away. It probably was nothing, but better safe than sorry, and I am super grateful that he came back. Thank you, Mr. E!

There were definitely extra guardian angels keeping an eye on me tonight. Visibility was awful with the difficulties of rain/sleet/fog multiplied by construction and bad drivers. Half the time I couldn’t see where the lanes were. One particularly blinker-averse Toyota made a last-minute decision to exit with me and I narrowly avoided a collision. 

I’m so glad to be home, safe, and headed to bed! It has been a very long day.