Tag Archives: worst reads of 2019

Cozy and Popular How?!: My 1 Star Reads from 2019 (Part 4)

LAST ONE I PROMISE. 

The Secret History of the Pink Carnation by Lauren Willig

An expanded universe where the Scarlet Pimpernel retires and the Purple Gentian and Pink Carnation take over as British spies in post-revolutionary France? Um, yes. But alas, no. The story switches between a pointless side story about a modern day woman working on her PhD trying to undercover the identity of the Pink Carnation and actual story of the Pink Carnation. The former bored me. The latter is a trashy, bodice ripping romance novel whose very existence besmirches the name of one of the greatest works in the English language. Poor, maligned Percy. 

The Perfect Kiss by Anne Gracie

I moderately enjoyed the first book in this series and decided to give it one more try with The Perfect Kiss. It sucked. The heroine was fine, I guess, but the lover boy was a pushy jerk who couldn’t take no as an answer. Decent writing could not make up for a trash story. 

The Spy Who Loves Me by Julie Kenner

Walter Mitty meets the female James Bond. They fall in love because reasons. The end. Oh wait, no, there is a Bond level villain who wants to start WWIII because reasons? He has a sexy, evil female sidekick who will try and seduce the main lead because…reasons? The end. No? There is a super predictable mole within the agency that the reader will figure out in chapter 1 because..reasons? None of this made sense.

Tightrope by Amanda Quick

Don’t judge this lovely book by its cover. It is terrible. It cannot make up its mind what year it is set in, the dialogue feels super forced, and the romance is insta-lust. Oh, and it is also book 3 in the series but nothing on the book will inform you of this. Sigh. So pretty. So terrible.

The Duke’s Marriage Mission by Deborah Hale

Take the worst parts of The Secret Garden, add it to the worst parts of Jane Eyre, then multiply by ten. I give you this book. Nothing spectacularly wrong with it but also nothing spectacularly right. The couple’s immediate attraction, stupid misunderstandings, and lame fights left me irritated. And the “moral” of the story (marriage doesn’t mean giving up freedom!) came as subtle as a fence post to the head.

Temple of the Dawn by Anne Hampson

I wanted to find some books set in Bangkok, Thailand and I found it surprisingly challenging to do so. This book did not actually disappoint me much there. It was fun reading about places I’ve visited. But the romance! The romance was beyond terrible. I almost did not finish with 6 pages to go. The climax/conclusion of the book was so out of nowhere that to even hint at it would be a big spoiler. But if you want the spoiler, check out my full review on Goodreads and avoid this one.

 


Cozy and Popular How?!: My 1 Star Reads from 2019 (Part 1)

Did you know the first time I compiled a list of worst reads, I only had five 1-star books? That blows my mind. I have 27 for 2019. Many were cozy mysteries. Many are quite popular with other readers. But while I finished all of them, each definitely earned its place on the list for “Worst Reads of 2019.”

The Unscrupulous Uncle by Allison Lane

It started off promisingly enough. Cinderella-like, the orphaned heroine acts as housekeeper for her garish relations and marries a hero with barely a conversation. If you think I’m giving much away, that’s just the first few chapters. Unfortunately, those were the most interesting chapters in the book. The remainder involves predictable misunderstandings, constant rehashing, and underdeveloped scenes. Most damning of all, the plot sets up the main couple as ‘like brother and sister’ and then spends the rest of the book trying to explain why they actually were never like brother and sister. But the lady protests too much and the result is something much more awkward than it otherwise would have been

To Catch a Bad Guy by Marie Astor

A book that cannot decide which angle it wants to take. It is a legal thriller…no! It is a paper trail of corporate espionage…no! It is a spy story…no! It is a chick flick…no! It is a psychological thriller about really uninteresting characters….nah, I’ve got nothing. While any of those alone might sound interesting, together they create a mishmashed story where every character gets a backstory (no matter how irrelevant their role in the book) and a POV. The main couple’s horrendous insta-love is just icing on the cake. 

Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder by Joanne Fluke

Joanne Fluke is a fairly iconic cozy mystery writer and I was looking forward to reading her Hannah Swensen series. I barely made it through this one. Disjointed and repetitive, the story hits all the cozy mystery cliches (Midwesterner, small business owner, hassled sister, hints of a love triangle, etc.) without really adding much. The murderer was obvious. I suppose the only thing that makes the book somewhat interesting is the interspersed cookie recipes, but I do not bake so didn’t help much.

The Cinderella Deal by Jennifer Crusie

Basically, your typical opposites attract storyline with main characters suffering from lust and parental issues (not necessarily in that order.) The main character randomly goes on about how much she loves the book of Job (and apparently she has a copy of it lying around? Like, just of the book of Job. Not a Bible) and for a moment I thought maybe I accidentally stumbled into a Christian romance. Then it got super sketch. I skimmed the last quarter. Not worth it. 

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

Possibly the most universally popular book I hated this past year. I think I literally liked nothing about this book. The story follows a severely messed up woman who twenty-five years earlier starred at her mother’s murder trial by naming her brother the culprit. When some new evidence crops up, she joins forces with a secret society set on clearing her brother’s name. The story switches from present day to the day of the crime. Despite the interesting premise, I found the book vulgar and excruciatingly boring. The twist further irritated me with its very senseless and pointlessness. 

A Weekend with Mr. Darcy by Victoria Connelly

I think this book made me hate Jane Austen, just a tiny bit. The premise intrigued me because it involved a professor who loves both Jane Austen and trashy Regencies. So many Jane Austen spinoffs involve heroines who act like they wouldn’t know a Harlequin if it bit them on the bottom. So I figured, worth a shot. But it wasn’t. I hated the insufferable characters, the over-the-top quotations, the ridiculous plot. I hated the predictability of it all. Do yourself a favor and watch the movie Austenland instead. (Or read the book, but the movie is better.)

The Barefoot Princess by Christina Dodd

Been ten months but I still feel the heat of my rage towards this book. Forget setting women back a decade. The Barefoot Princess sets women back to the stone age. The hard part is the book contained enough potential to make me think an actually decent story lay under the surface. The heroine starts off strong and her name is Amy! But the asshole hero and their seriously unhealthy relationship left me disgusted. The conclusion was a travesty. Avoid! For a better book involving a princess named Amy, try The Ordinary Princess by M.M. Kaye.