Monthly Archives: October 2019

Costumed

For weeks the student workers where I TA have been talking about their Halloween outfits. What to wear, when to wear it, how to get an unsuspecting boyfriend into a couple costume…all these things I heard. So, come October 31st, aka today, aka Halloween…I decided to join them in going all out.

I wore an Tudor gown with a cloak and high heeled boots and (though not shown below) a crown and veil. 

And then I walked outside and discovered it was snowing. 

No one at the bus stop was wearing a costume but I didn’t think much of it. I was an instant hit and three people asked for my number. (I politely declined to give it out.) 

I then got to campus. No one was wearing a costume!

I went to the house where I TA. And again…nothing! In fact, they’d all forgotten it was Halloween and asked me if I was celebrating the snow or something. 

I went to class; I attended a lecture in a different building; I wandered around campus. I saw maybe half a dozen people dressed up and no one close to my level. I can only surmise that the sight of snow shocked everyone into forgetting which holiday it was. 

But if Thailand taught me one thing it was how to take masses of people staring at you so I quite enjoyed myself despite sticking out like a sore thumb.


FB Friends

“Who is X and why am I friends with him on Facebook?” I ask Bethany.

“I don’t know,” she says. “Law school? Politics? Some politician dude?”

“No, I don’t recognize his face,” I tell her. “But he had a baby. Or his wife did.”

Bethany: “Well, is it a cute baby?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Bethany: “Don’t unfriend him then.”

There you go, folk, why I stay friends on Facebook with people I don’t remember. 

 


Quadruple Booked

The problem with scheduling every waking moment of your day is that inevitably you forget and book something else for the same time. Or three something elses. 

I triple booked myself Friday. (Meeting-seminar-work.)

I quadruple booked myself today.

First, I have a night class. I have had a night class the last 6 weeks. I have no idea how I forgot it. 

Second, I agreed to chaperone a movie night. I find it hilarious that I am requested to chaperone college kids until I realize I’m 6-8 years older than most of the students anyway. And that makes me feel old. 

Third, the city chapter of the Federalist Society hosted a social event for us Fed Soc students. It included two Wisconsin Supreme Court Justices. I got to chat with both of them. Let me tell you how it went: 

Me to Justice 1: “I fangirled so hard when your decision came out. Like, I told everyone about it. It was the best! I really loved it. Your due process argument was so good! I’m such a fan!” 

*Judge 1 looks faintly alarmed and begins to slowly back away* 

Meanwhile

Judge 2: “Have we met before?”

Me: “Oh yes, I was president last year.”

Judge 2: “Where are you working now?”

Me: “Still a student.”

Him: “…”

Me: “…”

Him: “…”

Me: “…”

* this goes on for about thirty seconds*

Clearly I made a meaningful impression on both.

Fourth and finally, I agreed to pick up my sister from work. At least, I think I did. Possibly she just announced I was picking her up. At any rate, when I told her I had a busy day ahead of me, she just glanced up briefly from her phone and said:

“Just don’t be late.” 


The Chicken

“The chicken!” exclaims Bethany at 9 pm. 

I look at her in horror, suddenly realizing we left it the oven for over an hour when we only meant to warm it up!

“When did you turn on the oven?” I ask.

“I didn’t!” she says, “didn’t you?”

“No, I thought I asked you to turn on the oven!”

“No, I asked you to!”

We turn to the oven. It remains stone cold. But at this point, neither of us wants to eat. We snacked on hummus and chips while waiting for the chicken to cook. Or really, not cook.

So, no real dinner for us. On the bright side, we didn’t burn the apartment down. 


Craving Spice

People frequently ask me what the best food I ate in Thailand was. I cop out by answering–truthfully–that all food in Thailand is incredibly spicy and that my Anglo-German ancestors gifted me with a very low spice tolerance. 

It takes less explaining than ‘Milk Seafood Ramen.’

But despite my low spice tolerance, I have discovered recently that I miss spicy food. And further, I have no idea where to get it here in Madison. Wal Mart discontinued the closest thing I ate to spicy food pre-Thailand: canned Amy’s Own Spicy Chili. 

I’ve grown eclectic in my attempts to find spicy food. I order sandwiches with jalapenos at the local sandwich cart. Go with sharp cheddar instead of mild when grocery shopping. And sometimes, impulsively buy food clearly targeting the teenage male population, such as “Extra Hot Chili & Lime Pringles.” (You know they are aimed at teenage boys because the packaging comes in neon purple.) 

Alas, none of these things do the trick but they do give me the delightful feeling that I can “handle” spice. 


Home Alone

Bethany went to a concert yesterday and stayed the night with our other sister, leaving me home alone. I planned to surprise her by cleaning. Or surprise myself by doing homework. Or, you know, have a productive Saturday.

Instead I read 4 books, stayed in my PJs all day, and ate canned soup.

It has been an amazing weekend.


Hush Money

As I referenced yesterday, the place I stored my stuff this past summer started billing me again. My lease ended in July. Needless to say, I told them so. They said they had no record of my lease ending. I declared more adamantly it had ended. They then responded with the following e-mail:

Good Afternoon,

We would like to apologize for this inconvenience. We would like to invite you to the office on Friday October 25th to resolve the matter.

Kind Regards, etc.

That, I told Bethany, sounds suspicious. I think I am going to get kidnapped by the mob. As usual, she ignored me.

I went today braced for anything ranging from a kidnapping to the commencement of a lawsuit. (To a hammer, everything looks like a nail. To a law student, everything looks like small claims court.)

I marshaled my arguments carefully (if not my documents.) I wore business professional clothing. I went full-out with my makeup. (Thereby making me look 14 instead of 12.) And I boldly showed up 5 minutes early. 

Whereupon the smiling young lady behind the desk handed me an envelope full of cash and apologized very politely for the inconvenience. 

You could have knocked me over with a feather. Even though the cash amounted to the amount I was incorrectly billed, I still kind of feel like I just accepted hush-money.